My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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