If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize