went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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