you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
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he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
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How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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