Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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