Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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