Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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