How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize