Need sex. Gaining weight.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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