I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize