Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We're not piercing ourselves today.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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