Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize