...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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