I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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