you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize