He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize