my phone needs a breathalizer
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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