no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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