It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize