..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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