I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize