I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize