Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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