Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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