Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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