Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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