if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
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Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
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I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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