3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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