how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
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