none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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