There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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