I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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