so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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