And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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