it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
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He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize