He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
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I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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