Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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