She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
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I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
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Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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