he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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