I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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