So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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