i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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