My first STD was from a foam party
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize