She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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