peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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