I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
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