His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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