I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize