wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I've blown a few things in my day
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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