ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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